What is the most anti-Jalop song out there?

"marvthegrate" (marvthegrate) 01/06/2014 at 10:21 • Filed to: None

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There have been great songs recorded that capture the spirit of the Jalop. My personal favorite is Radar Love from Golden Earring. However, I got thinking about the songs that go against the grain of enthusiast. The first to come to mind is Stickshifts and Safteybelts from Cake.

Another that comes to mind is Vampire Weekend's song Diane Young due to the destruction of a couple of Swedish beauties. (Full disclosure, I am a Saab fan. My first car was a '70 V4 96, and I am obtaining two more 96's in the near future).

What other songs out there get your goat, as an Opponaut or Jalop?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:29

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But the song is about cruising in his classic car with his girl. Could still have a column shifted manual.

Clown Shoe Pilot > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:30

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that song isn't anti-jalop, it's anti stick shifts, safety belts, and bucket seats.

an old pickup with 3 on the tree would satisfy the requests of the song and still be very jalop.

marvthegrate > Clown Shoe Pilot 01/06/2014 at 10:32

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A valid point. I am a fan of safety belts, however.

ColoradoTaco > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:33

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Cake might be one of the most Jalop bands out there, agree with Clown Shoe, this is a Jalop song, not anti.

AMC/Renauledge > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:34

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I'm pretty sure old cars with column shift and bucket seats made before seat belts were mandated in 1968 still qualify as "Jalop".

marvthegrate > ColoradoTaco 01/06/2014 at 10:37

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I may have to revise my opinion on the song. I do like the old Malibu (pre '73). I'd really like to have an SS396, but Cake wouldn't like the floor shifter or buckets.

I still can't stand Vampire Weekend, although my dislike of this band predates their destruction of a couple of helpless 900s.

Hoccy > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:39

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I'd say some of those gangsta rappers with pimped out Escalades or such. I don't know any songs but I think you get what I mean.

Stephen the Canuck > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:39

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Bicycle race by Queen

EL_ULY > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:41

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anything to do with save the trees or ride a bike to work type hippie sheeeet :]

marvthegrate > AMC/Renauledge 01/06/2014 at 10:42

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That is very true. I think that the first car I remember was an old Chev wagon with vinyl seats and no seatbelts. It was a slushbox, however, as my mother could drive it. I remember sliding off the vinyl and into the dashboard one summer, luckily it was across the street from the emergency room. A couple of stitches later, we were on our way home.

marvthegrate > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/06/2014 at 10:45

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Very true. I still want to know what the antithesis songs would be. I know that Patrick is chill with Vampire Weekend, but I am not.

marvthegrate > Hoccy 01/06/2014 at 10:47

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Wasn't there a video where a Rapper tore up a Maybach? I am strangely comfortable with that idea.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Stephen the Canuck 01/06/2014 at 10:47

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winner

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:50

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This?

Jagvar > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:52

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I used to like Cake...until I saw them perform live. Oh God, it was awful. I don't know what stunts they pull in studio to produce decent recordings, but in a live performance they sound like a bunch of wheezy, rambling beatniks. It was like listening to a bad cover band.

Flat Six > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 10:54

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How about Mercedes-Benz by Janis Jopin:

It compares wanting a MB with other somewhat lame materialistic desires like needing a color TV.

"Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends."

I don't think she was necessarily anti-Jalop, she had a psychedelic Porsche 356 herself:

marvthegrate > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/06/2014 at 10:57

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I think that this would get my vote. I forgot about this song. Very good choice.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 11:03

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It seems to be about a crazy bitch who got dumped and then went psycho and murdered her poor car.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 11:08

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Don't. Knock. Cake.

marvthegrate > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username 01/06/2014 at 11:24

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Oh, I like Cake. I even like the song in the op.

Flat Six > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username 01/06/2014 at 11:25

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Yeah but that song is about a guy finishing a bit prematurely, so technically it is only Jalop if you are okay with being inconsiderate of the ladies :)

I'm not sure which side of the Jalop line this falls:

KnowsAboutCars > marvthegrate 01/06/2014 at 11:35

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Yes, Jay-Z - Otis

CobraJoe > Jagvar 01/06/2014 at 11:43

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Thanks for the advice, I'll continue to never see them in concert. (I do like their albums)

Flat Six > Jagvar 01/06/2014 at 11:46

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I saw them at a free outdoor concert and it was a good time. However it was ~12 years ago.

Jagvar > Flat Six 01/06/2014 at 11:49

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When I saw them, it was about 8 years ago.

aquila121 > Hoccy 01/12/2014 at 20:05

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Something like this? (NSFW lyrics)